I feel numb.
I went to lunch.
Came back feeling defeated.
Then I threw myself a pitty party and invited everyone. I shouldn't have been down. I shouldn't have brought others down with me. I should have vented then put on a smile. But it's harder to do that when you dont have to face the world alone. When someone is always by your side you tend to feel like it is ok to be in a bad mood. You give up on having a good day and begin to let them in on your bad day just so they can have one with you, or work their hardest to cheer you up. I cant let that keep happening.
I still feel numb. but I'm giving up on my pitty party. No one is invited anymore.
This post is so waaaahh.
At lunch I did manage to get a kick out of a small thing.
Two men were sitting in a booth at Jason's deli and the first man picked up a huge strawberry, and held it up to show the other man. As he held it up he shoved his other hand right next to it to claim that the berry looks just like a hand. His friend was amused because he looked at it like a child looking at a new toy. The berry-hand man, pretended like it was a real hand and high-fived it.
It never fails, when i want something bad enough I don't give it up, because I want it.
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