I sometimes forget what peace can be had in silence. Do this just sit in your room and light a candle that smells like something that inspires you and just be.
The only thing I hear is the whirling of the fan, a sometimes cricket and the keyboard. It's peace. We can create a peaceful environment but I wonder if this really brings us to a peaceful state of mind. It was in Chicago that I felt the most peace in my life. And to be honest I think it was the only time that I didnt care that I had no friends my age in town or had no one to hang out with on a weekend. It was me and books along with the beautiful city by the beach.
I always refer to my summer 06 in Chicago as the best summer of my life. Actually it was the best time of my life. I was with myself and I was fine. That is when I discovered that I am not afraid to be along. Since then of course things have changed a little.
I accidentally Shirley Temple-d my hair tonight a minute before church. It looked awful... so I threw it up in a pony and ran out the door. I was ten minutes late and just stepping in when the congregation was reading the first lesson. But I think I was late for a reason. Because I was late I sat in the back, and was one of the last ones to get communion. It was while I was waiting for the wine that I saw the most beautiful sight. The cutest blond girl was blessed. The priest kneeled down to her, looked her in the eyes, while saying a prayer and made the sign of the cross on her forhead. He smile and she just stared. He said "God bless you." And she just stared. He wasnt moving on until he got a smile. And she wasnt about to give him a pity one. They had a mini staring contest going until finally she gave in.
The funny thing about this story is that children dont know what awkward means. Nor do they care. And also old people are past the point in life where they care that they are being awkward. Somewhere in between being a child and being old we are all awkward.
I almost teared up. It's kind of what I do when I see children at church being blessed. I wonder what I was like at that stage. I wonder if I cryed during my baptism, if my mom gave me butterfly kisses during a sermon or if I had a stare off with a preist during communion. And then I think about my children and bringing them to church. I can't wait for the moment when a cute little kid who cant sing will be standing next to me or as I watch them color during a sermon.
Every time I go to church I consider the future. That is the time when I think the most about family.
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